When you cannot sleep because of your thoughts

Lying awake replaying a conversation, worrying about money, or rehearsing a version of tomorrow that has not happened yet is one of the most common experiences people describe.

There is a reason the mind gets loud at night. For most of the day there is something to do — work, family, study, noise. At night the distractions stop, and whatever you have been carrying finally has your full attention.

A few things that help

Get out of bed. If you have been lying awake for more than about twenty minutes, get up. Sit somewhere dim and do something undemanding until you feel sleepy. Staying in bed while frustrated teaches your body that bed is a place for lying awake.

Write it down. Keep paper beside you. Much of what keeps you awake is your mind refusing to let go of something it is afraid of forgetting. Writing it down often releases it.

Stop checking the time. Working out how few hours are left adds pressure to a situation that does not need any more.

Be careful with the screen. Not mainly because of the light — because of what is on it. Scrolling gives your mind more to process at the exact moment you need less.

Let go of the goal. "I must sleep now" is an unhelpful instruction. Aim to rest instead. Resting quietly is worth something, even without sleep.

When it is worth talking to someone

If you have been sleeping badly for weeks, if you dread bedtime, or if exhaustion is affecting your work, study or relationships, it is worth speaking to a professional. Persistent sleep difficulty often travels alongside stress, grief or low mood, and it usually improves when the thing underneath it is addressed.